Back and out.

Hello readers. I am back to my old Beirut life, and I decided to keep this blog running, but it won't be about Warsaw any longer. I won't go in details about what happened.
Beirut as charming as it is, it has always been a constant state of nostalgic utopia.
I am back to the same endless problems, we sit and talk about them in torino express, in Demo cafe, and sometimes just while walking around with friends and we are constantly annoyed how ugly the new buildings look, and ask ourselves when we will be able to do anything to change something, and that reminds me of the saying" somebody said someone has to do something about anything". Yet we all know that if it means walking the walk, it is fairly a direct truth to say that we only talk the talk.
What can we achieve in a place where possibilities to solve problems are nothing more than dreams of the impossible.
I am hurt and I will reflect my feeling on my city, that it made me do what I did, now it is time to kill it. I mean artistically. In the process of trying to make my first short film, I am trying hard to fall in the vicious cycle of depressed souls smashing their creativity because they rather belief that they are worthless. I see people and friends, they are talking and talking, and I am talking, however, the air above is polluted with our negativity, it 's not raining, the sky is weeping over the wasted talent of the city. One day we will choke in our own dreams, there will be no exit to freedom, only through the corrupt universe of the new Lebanese model which makes human beings slaves to a few dollars, I imagine that a decent life will be a privilege only affordable to those with money. It is a shame that we too have reached this stage, but not only did we reach it it has become the only reality in this country, that a decent life is not a one lead by morality and common sense, but it is a life of roaming savages who believe that to each his own.

1920

When you walk in the heart of the city center of warsaw, you will wind up on Krakowskie Przedmieście. It is a nice street near the old town that was rebuilt after WWII, when the Nazis destroyed about 97% of all the buildings in Warsaw. What rings a bell for me, is the Beirut so called (Downtown) reconstructed after the civil war by the private Solidere company, but unlike Beirut the old town in Warsaw still got character due to the many citizens who lived there after the war, therefore creating much more dynamic streets with small local businesses and tourists attractions at the same time. We lost that battle in Beirut's newly reconstructed illusionary view of the downtown where houses( I am talking huge houses) were sold to the wealthy ( Needless to say that mostly Gulf wealth) who brought nothing more than a heavily secured streets and buildings, a bunch of exclusive restaurants, hotels, and a newly finished shopping center called Beirut souks.( I am not downsizing downtown, but if people want to feel proud of something meaningful to their original culture, old photographs of the real life in the pre-war Beirut souks would be the only consolation for pride and innocence) . Far from the reality of Downtown Beirut, what is usually impressive about cultures is their ability to bring much of the painful past to the midst of modernity, because as they say " you cannot go into the future if you don't look into your past". So recurrent historic themes that make up the bulk of intellectual consciousness of much of the art scenes all over the world usually take place in restored places where wars have ravaged and killed. Therefore I bring the next example only to highlight the obvious, yet I feel it is necessary not to compromise modernity for the sake of History or the other way around, but some compromises are worth doing on both sides ( I am talking about one significant civil war memorial to be allowed in the heart of the glitzy downtown. And let's forget about the martyr square because it has really lost its meaning). In Warsaw there are currently a load of exhibitions, events, and countless other activities aimed at cementing the public absolute brave" fights" and "battles" they went through to defeat the communists, and the Nazis. Particularly the movement called Solidarność. But way before that in 1920 there was a different kind of battle going on in the spring and summer aimed by Lenin to conquer Poland by way of drowning it in the Bolshevik wave, hoping to get into Germany and the rest of Europe. Lenin failed and so the relevance of the street mentioned above comes into the picture. The man in the picture is Piłsudzki the man who is given much of the credit for the way the Poles conducted their war, and won. It is a huge image of this man, and on the other side of the street is also a huge one of Lenin. The contrast may be a cliche, but it is important for the tourists to see, and the locals alike. So I am thinking that it is great to be able to have a portrait of a man who can be attributed to the salvation of not only a nation, but the European continent (even if only for the 25 years following the 1920 defeat of the Ruskis). So let me think who of our Lebanese politician we can commemorate in such an honorable portrait? Well we can put many portraits of those who actually destroyed not only Beirut but the rest of the country, yet I dare we find one man who defeated one national threat. ( Now look at that portrait, I am not sure if it is the mustache or the cigarette, but they defiantly go well together).

Dice game concert?

What do you do when you get to the entrance door to a free concert? Well normally you enter- except last night's outdoor "free" concert had a pleasant surprise for us. The story went like this: A polish singer named Timon is singing a free concert near the river. I thought well Polish music concert? Why not, I may not understand a word but it's cool to go to an outdoor event. In Beirut unfortunately most events are indoors, and the summer festival well are summer, and that means you are exposed to sometimes 30 degrees at night with up to 95% HUMIDITY. I had had enough of being in the smokey bar scene in Beirut, so I went. As we got to the door,( well it was more like a fence) ,two girls asked us to toss a dice. The lower you score the better; because it is simply how much you would pay. So the dilemma was that if in general you are an unlucky person, then you know at this particular game you will actually score as high as the max 12 points, and then you will pay 12zł the equivalent of 4$. Which is fair if you thought about the nice spot, and the music. But what itches you is the fact that you were told that it is a free concert. After not having much choice in the matter, and holding the line in front of about 17 Polish people. I tossed the dice on the tiny slippery table where they also had 2 plastic cups one for change and the other had paper money, a piece of paper on which they wrote the score which translated to money, but the dice fell straight to the floor. I go into this to explain that it is not like you are actually gambling on a nice green velour casino table. The next toss I score 3. "HIHAAAAAAAAAA". I pay 1$ for my entrance. Dominika was much luckier, she scored 12, and unfortunately payed the max amount the dice obligated of 12 big ones ( well it was 4 dollars).
Anyhow lovely experience, only to top it with a cherry, the band's van broke down 30-km outside Warsaw. So we waited in the cold for a good 2 hours. By that time the band showed up, quickly unloaded all their instruments, and the concert kicked off, with very little enthusiasm I am afraid. Thinking back about this situation, I believe it is really a great concept to gamble your way in for a concert which the artist is unknown to you, for once if the music was good, and your dice was bad, then it would have been a truly thrilling hand.

The chairman of Centrum.

Warsaw street musicians are not abundant in my opinion, but they are special. There are a few that have their usual spots- for instance there is an old men group who play old polish tunes and they are usually on Nowy swiat street where there are a bunch of tourists , also there is the guy who sits facing the palace who plays the tuba,and he blows fire from the top of its hole, yet none of them are as special as the "chairman" who plays percussion on the main centrum exit of the metro line. The reason this dude is special ,I think, is not because he does not really make any real percussion, or because he does not seem to enjoy what he is doing, but for the very fact that he is constantly coming up with new broken chairs.Why is that special? well I think it's an original kind of recycling, but also a decent way to earn money for someone who I assume is not a musician ( I mean really the guy does not make beats that make you groove). But let me explain for those who never been to Warsaw about this dude. This is a man who so far has not missed a day standing there beating the chair in front of him making some kind of noise to attract people. He is there for hours just beating on the chair. Man it cracks me up. Not that I intend to make fun of this man, it's just that the simple idea of that chair makes it funny. Imagine that this guy keeps beating on a chair until it brakes, because he then gets a new chair from who knows where. So the special part for me is that a chair that's been dumped is no longer an object used and thrown away. It has become a part of the act performed by this man. The chair then is abused by the man's arms for hours before it being replaced by another one. I am not sure why I find this so fascinating, maybe because I once saw a man in New York beating on some plastic pots, and containers, and this guy made amazing music. I mean there are musicians who can make nice sounds out of everything, but our dear chairman's redeemable value in my opinion is that he brings, without intention I assume, an irony to the meaning of a chair. I elect him the chairman of centrum.

Birds to watch dreams go by.

It was my first day back in Warsaw. I am lying in bed sick and tired. The amount of party, little hours of sleep, one meal a day, and the change of weather, have all finally caught up with me. Beirut can be a really exhausting vacation. Ironically the weather in Warsaw smells like autumn already. You can see tree leafs dead, and yellow blown in many directions by the wind. What I saw from our bed through the window, while half dreaming half awake, were the birds. They are flying back into the city. Dominika says she is never sure they ever left the city. The crows are back, and with them I imagine the months coming. However, I do not fear their arrival this time, nor my sickness, for to me it only means that the cycle is functioning. It reassures me even to fantasize that my health and the weather may have seasonal agreements.
Today,however I felt much better. I went to the center.My mind has not switched between the two cities yet. I like the fact that I feel at home now in Beirut, and Warsaw. Yet, with each step into familiar direction in Warsaw, my mind raced to the next without really being in the moment. For instance everything is there but to me it seemed more like I am watching through memory rather than consciousness. It feels good in a way because it is inspiring.
I always liked a record called " music to watch girls go by", I won't claim to be a music except, neither that I actually recognize all the tracks on this album. I liked it for its name. I've probably used the name in alteration before, but it is the first time when I felt it fits this piece. As the dreams go back to nocturnal stages, and the birds soar over the streets, watching anything at all may be what's real.

Welcoooooooooome:)

To those of you familiar with Le chef in Gemayzeh, I am sure you know charbel and his iconic WELCOME. I just got back from Beirut, where I felt truly welcomed again with all the friends and family. Now, I know this blog had been idle for sometime, but here I am back with energy and fresh new look I hope on warsaw.

Global trap!

About 6 or 7 years ago I got myself into reading a book about the dangers of globalization. It's the kind of books everyone with green conscious, and a big heart must read. There is no fiction story in the book, only a lot of points about why it is bad to be living in a global economy, and how things really work now. It turns out that we don't own much of the choices in our own lives anymore. Also if wealthy men in suits "FART" let's say somewhere in China, their wind will globally cross its way to Alaska, and somehow affecting things there ( this is not in the book). I could not finish reading, nevertheless I was depressed all the same, and ever since I became very confused whether I fully hated globalization, or just a bit. Today I must admit to like it with the same confusion, or even worst I feel trapped. Think of the fresh daily flowers delivered from Amsterdam to London in few hours. Think of traveling inside of schengen european states without borders. Think of something you like from back home and if it wasn't for globalization you won't have it somewhere else in the world ( I am not defending globalization, but why denying some of the good commodities, even for a pessimistic guy like me), long ago trade consisted of basic stuff, now you can buy the same brand all over the world. So what's the point of all of this? The story is that a few months ago I found myself staring at a container of Lebanese made "Tahini"( a very heavy sesame oily paste) on the shelf of Bomi ( A supermarket here in Warsaw). I was impressed to see that a seemingly insignificant product in the daily life of the Lebanese people back home, a Tahini container still manages to sit here "overpriced", and looking awkwardly funny among the coconut milk cans,teriyaki sauce, and other products in the exotic food section. . Now, 3 months ago, I did not buy it. However, as the home sickness increased, and the taste of a good plate of "hummus" lingered on the back of my tongue, I decided to get one today. So now I am thinking that this absolutely necessary ingredient in the making of hummus is available here in Poland, I am off to the next level. I am making my own Hummus. Wow, I wonder what else globalization can permit me to have. Now, I am still confused about the bad things globalization is causing like wars, poverty, starvation and etc, but damn it I got " THE HUMMUS" the most controversial plate on the menu lately between Israel and Lebanon, also I think Hizbullah's weapons is on that same menu, but they seem to have been placed in the desert section. ( The original creators of hummus are yet to be finalized between the two countries, there was even a competition to win the guinness book of world records for the biggest Hummus plate. Honestly, I am not sure how such a stupid controversy can even exist). So I finally understood that trade nowadays is not only with goods, but with cultures. I found the solution for the confusion. If will eat my hummus, and I will not feel guilty.