It was my first day back in Warsaw. I am lying in bed sick and tired. The amount of party, little hours of sleep, one meal a day, and the change of weather, have all finally caught up with me. Beirut can be a really exhausting vacation. Ironically the weather in Warsaw smells like autumn already. You can see tree leafs dead, and yellow blown in many directions by the wind. What I saw from our bed through the window, while half dreaming half awake, were the birds. They are flying back into the city. Dominika says she is never sure they ever left the city. The crows are back, and with them I imagine the months coming. However, I do not fear their arrival this time, nor my sickness, for to me it only means that the cycle is functioning. It reassures me even to fantasize that my health and the weather may have seasonal agreements.
Today,however I felt much better. I went to the center.My mind has not switched between the two cities yet. I like the fact that I feel at home now in Beirut, and Warsaw. Yet, with each step into familiar direction in Warsaw, my mind raced to the next without really being in the moment. For instance everything is there but to me it seemed more like I am watching through memory rather than consciousness. It feels good in a way because it is inspiring.
I always liked a record called " music to watch girls go by", I won't claim to be a music except, neither that I actually recognize all the tracks on this album. I liked it for its name. I've probably used the name in alteration before, but it is the first time when I felt it fits this piece. As the dreams go back to nocturnal stages, and the birds soar over the streets, watching anything at all may be what's real.
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